Waffle House breakfasts: 4
Hotel breakfasts: 2
Bottles of red wine: 3
Gin and tonics: 3
Mojitos: 1
Manhattans: 1
Cute ladies groping me: 1
Number of times I got hit in the crotch with a fake weapon: zero! (down at least 20 from last time)
Meals eaten in a hotel bed: 2
Mean tricks played on strangers: only one, but it was a good one: