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December 21, 2004

Jesus Murphy, can't we quit picking on the Irish?

I was looking through some old knitting magazines that a co-worker brought in to work, and I found some treasures to share.

Get a load of these stylish separates, knitted in the "traditional Irish manner". Um, honeycomb and moss stitch notwithstanding, I don't really see much in this outfit that's traditionally Irish. Oh yeah, all those poor bloated, drowned fishermen who could only be identified by the patterns in their bellbottom pants. . . and whether they were the traditional fuschia or the traditional purple.

(I'm not Irish. But I work in a party store and so in March I have to sell a lot of cheap plastic products intended for people who want to pretend to be Irish by getting really drunk while wearing some dumbass green plastic hat. Because that's how you can tell someone is Irish, right? It seems like the only people it's still okay to make fun of anymore are dwarves, fat people and the Irish. How come the rest of the world doesn't have a holiday where they dress up and pretend to be North American by acting crass and bigoted? I'm just sayin'. . . )

Anyway, yes, I photocopied the pattern too and no, I'm not going to knit these. But if anyone else is brave enough to admit they want to make them, I'll be happy to share. But I get to mock you.

I'm sure you're all asking, what happened to Cathode? Well, I had to rip out the bottom ribbing because it was too tight. Not too small for me, but too tight in relation to the main colour section, making it look like a poofy 80s sweater. So here's what I'm going to do: sacrifice about three or four inches of the collar in order to get some more yarn for the body. So it won't be quite as luxurious, but I won't look as stumpy. I'll also knit the bottom ribbing on a slightly larger needle. Too bad I already did the collar ribbing and I had to rip that out too.

I promise I'll have pictures in a few days. And I'll be wearing it home for (seasonal holiday family obligations), and it's going to look hot hott hottt.

We don't really do any holiday decorating in our household; here is my only concession to the season, and I suspect even this one decoration bugs Peter a little:

I just can't see the point in putting tacky crap all over the house and then taking it all down again, when I'm not Christian and it's not my holiday (and you can see from the picture that there is enough crap all over our house without adding any tinsel and reindeer). So this is it, a ribbon to put our paltry amount of seasonal holiday cards up on. And most of them are actually graduation and birthday cards for me; the three Christmas cards we have are from the realtor who helped us find our house, an old former chum that I haven't spoken to in fourteen years, and Kay (a lovely Irish lass who wouldn't be caught dead in a purple knitted pantsuit).

Posted by jodi at December 21, 2004 01:45 PM | categories:  dumbass

Comments

Posted by: Kyla at December 21, 2004 11:41 PM