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November 30, 2005

Hump day special

Meet Alice.

alice yesterday

Alice is part camel hair (I can't tell you exactly how much of Alice is camel and how much is wool because her tag was tragically lost in a hideous incident of violence involving the sewing scissors and the scratched-up skin on the back of my neck). I do remember that she is from Emanuel Ungaro, and she used to wear a nasty fake fur collar-and-cuffs set, which fortunately was only held on with snaps so it never actually made it out of the thrift store with Alice and me (I ripped them off in disgust and gave them to the lady in front of me in line, who wanted to put them on her jean jacket. That's right, people, I tore the sweater apart before I'd even paid for it).

Alice and me haven't gone out together in a while now, and while I still think she's very pretty and soft and I love to caress her, I just can't get over how frumpy she is, and how frumpy she makes me look (never mind that it might be me who is making Alice look frumpy. Shut up!). I just can't abide my belly in a button-up cardigan, and Alice, while she fit me very well, had a bit of the dreaded between-the-buttons gape going on.

Look at her nifty, nifty cables though. They sort of look like a long line of embracing spiders.

alice detail

Don't they? Oh. Maybe it's just me then.

Anyway, dear readers, I think you'll all agree that poor Alice was in need of a drastic makeover if she was ever going to look good out on the town embracing my chub as she so clearly wants to. And I miss being cocooned in her soft camellyness. But not quite enough to put up with looking frumpy; it's such a thin line between sexy and frump for me as it is. So Alice and I got together and discussed it, and here is what she looks like today:

alice today

I know, I know, you're all on the edge of your seats. What's to become of the remains of Alice? I'm thinking maybe this.

alice tomorrow

(image shamelessly lifted from savannahchik Jody). Also from Jody I learned that there is a knitalong (en anglais!) for this sweater, and lo and behold they have done all the work of translating the pattern from the French. I'm reluctant to join a knitalong, since it doesn't really suit my carefully calculated outsider image to be too much of a joiner. Okay, I'm kidding. The truth is I just find knitalongs to be project killers (hello, Must Have Cardigan? I'll make you a deal, sweetie. Don't tell anyone that I just shoved you back into the yarn lockers with only half a sleeve left to go, right after taking a photo of your sole unfinished sleeve and promising the entire internet that I would finish you. And if you can keep your mouth shut I'll try to finish you up over the winter break. Deal?). So I thought I'd just help myself to the pattern and not join the knitalong. But that seems like shitty behaviour, and it's kind of nagging at me now. Do y'all think that's shitty? Yeah. Okay, I'll join. Right after I swatch and make sure that this is the perfect new look for Alice.

Wanna hear something cool? While Peter was here we went out and bought me a headset for the laptop, and tonight for the first time we talked using Skype! I am so excited about this. Because it's free, and it doesn't hurt my head like that stupid cordless phone that's always slipping off my shoulder if I try to take my hand away. Now I can talk and knit at the same time, or talk and work, or talk and, um, maybe play the dorky online game that someone got me addicted to. So. Is anyone else out there on Skype? I need another addictive online pastime like I need a hole in my jaw (woops, got one of those too!), so let's talk. As long as you're not a stalker, or one of those gross dudes who send me e-mails with slyly abusive sexual innuendo (you know who you are, creeps).

And, in case you needed further proof of my dorkiness (and the dorkiness of certain other people we know): Peter and I went out for supper with Carrieoke last week, and as we were walking to the restaurant we bumped into the High Energy Jenny family, on their way to the same restaurant. So it was one big noisy excitable knitter partay. But here's the dorky part. On the way out the door I had contemplated putting on my Clapotis and decided not to. Both Jenny and Carrie were wearing Clapotis (they were both a little unhappy with their Claps, so they swapped and now are both happily wearing them all around the town-o). AND. Not only were Carrie and Jenny both knitting the same socks, but they were the exact same socks whose pattern Peter had caught me gazing at with longing earlier in the afternoon. Gah. So I guess I am a joiner after all.

Posted by jodi at November 30, 2005 09:25 PM | categories:  sticks and string


Hump day. Good one.

Skype is the greatest. It saved me during a cellphone-less summer away ... or at leat, it saved me from having to use manky payphones.

Posted by: sarah irene at December 1, 2005 12:44 AM

That's such a beautiful sweater, I hope it works for you, I'd love to see it.

I'm on Skype, it's awesome when Zak is away! The whole summer while he was gone, we were able to talk for as long as we wanted every day, instead of the 5-minute second-mortgage overseas cell phone calls we used to be limited to. Yay for Skype! :)

Posted by: Mandy at December 1, 2005 01:27 AM

I'm on Skype, too, for the same reason as everyone else -- those months when I was here and Bill was still in Taiwan.

I hope you figured out/charted Alice's lovely cables before the big rip!

(I'd probably just steal the knit-along pattern, but don't tell anyone that...)

Posted by: alison at December 1, 2005 03:27 PM

They *DO* look like little spiders! I bet they would look cute running up a mitten.

Posted by: lunastrixae at December 1, 2005 05:20 PM

We are going to miss you at the RAOK group!

Posted by: Jenn at December 2, 2005 09:32 AM

I'm on Skype. And I have decided against knitalongs. I think you should swipe the pattern.

Posted by: Rebecca at December 2, 2005 10:55 AM

OK now you got me interested in this skype thing, and of course it means I have to pick up a new toy the headset for the hours i sit at my computer!

Posted by: Dana at December 2, 2005 10:57 AM

Hee, hee! Is Alice named after that camp song: Alice the Camel has 5 humps?

Posted by: Meem at December 2, 2005 01:30 PM

I like the reincarnation of Alice alot. The neckline is cool.

Sometimes HEJ and Carrie are sharing a brain :)

Posted by: Anne Marie at December 2, 2005 04:10 PM

Oh, you are brave! I'm not sure i could rip up that beautiful sweater, but i really like the new sweater you are thinking of making. Can't wait to see what you come up with!

Posted by: michele at December 2, 2005 05:16 PM

I play KOL when I'm in conference calls -- shh don't tell my colleagues! My nick is 'agalia'.

Posted by: Lisa Dusseault at December 2, 2005 07:28 PM

Anything that starts it's life named Alice, has got great possiblities. (being and Alice in Wonderland freak and all)

Posted by: Micky at December 3, 2005 03:58 PM