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August 24, 2006
Pluto, I feel your pain
Those jerky planets, they think they're so fucking cool. They never did let poor Pluto join in all the planet games. After a career of skulking around out back of the school, skipping gym and smoking cigarettes and selling the odd bag of weed to those two-faced jerks Uranus and Neptune (who always pretended to be your pals in detention but snubbed you when the popular crowd were around), you've finally been booted out of the social order completely. You've only ever been grudgingly invited to the bush parties, and now they're moving the parties to a whole new bush to avoid you.
Don't worry, P. I'll let you in on a little secret: those kids are going nowhere. It's the rejected outcast losers like you who turn out, fifteen years later, to be the cool people: the software company owners, the independant filmmakers, the influential scientists and popular political bloggers. Trust me on this. You'll be okay.
Posted by jodi at August 24, 2006 06:49 PM | categories: dumbass
Comments
I thought they had redefined the definition of a planet so that pluto could stay. Unfortunatly this made being a planet almost an ordinary thing since its now based on gravitational pull and shape. Which makes a couple of moons and some asterroids planets now too. Sigh. I always though Pluto was a cool planet name.
Posted by: Heidi at August 24, 2006 07:03 PM
ok please excuse my terrible spelling in that last comment there. thou8gh is supose to be thought. and asterroids needs to loose and r.
another question is if a moon of a planet is now a planet too is that like the square is also a rectangle but the rectangle is not a square?
Posted by: Heidi at August 24, 2006 07:06 PM
jodi...you crack me up.
Posted by: mama-e at August 24, 2006 07:35 PM
hahaha! brilliant!
Posted by: brenda in toronto at August 25, 2006 12:52 AM
They took pluto off?
That's retarded.
Posted by: Melissa at August 25, 2006 04:10 AM
Brilliance. Sheer freakin' brilliance.
I was gonna invite Pluto over for a party, but he said he had a date with an elliptical orbit or something. I think it was a bullshit excuse, myself.
Posted by: NWJR at August 25, 2006 08:11 AM
I love this. And I wonder if "pluto" will turn into a verb, like "I thought those sorority girls really liked me, but I've been totally plutoed from the group since I compared them to chirping birds on my blog."
Posted by: alison at August 25, 2006 09:15 AM
You are a genius!
and I am totally up for that swap you mentioned - button necklace and all! :) Let me know!
Posted by: Lolly at August 25, 2006 02:11 PM
I'm not sure why I felt so crushed when I read about Pluto. It certainly has poetry on its side.
I will now go listen to the Creatures' "Pluto Drive" in honour of our spurned comrade.
Posted by: Mandy at August 25, 2006 03:04 PM