« thinking about projects | Main | in which our intrepid heroine announces some changes and asks you, the reader, for assistance »
March 14, 2007
dreary.
Sadness and worry kept me from sleeping last night, and what sleep I did manage was peppered with troubling dreams, thinking about a beloved friend, hoping she's okay and knowing that she isn't. Morning found me in a cold sweat with a migraine teasing at my forehead, demanding to be let in. I tried to go to studio but that was a bust, and after sitting on the loading dock for a while with the puppy and a cup of tea, listlessly drawing tree branches in my book while waiting for the migraine drugs to kick in, I gave up and came back to the apartment. Felt a bit better for a while in the afternoon, sitting on the patio with the dog, did a few more little drawings. I thought I might sit at the computer and work on updating the portfolio pages on my website (fuck you, migraine, I'll stare at that light if I want to) but instead fell asleep in the bath. I'm conducting a little experiment to find out just how much tea my body can hold.
Last night I stayed up late cleaning out my inbox, and in the end managed to reduce it from a horrifying 1510 messages to 54. It was a dismal experience, finding all of those things I should have responded to and didn't, realizing just what an ass I am, how lazy and inconsiderate. If you have e-mailed me in the last year for something important or something unimportant, to ask me for advice or help or to tell me how awesome I am and you never heard back from me, I'm sorry. I am not awesome. Please e-mail me again, for I am sincere in my desire to change my ways, to develop good correspondence habits and to treat people's queries and praise with more respect, to try to shed some of this constant stress, take back the time I devote to that stress and spend it paying attention to my friends instead.
I was going to write more today about my big project with the fabric and the clothes, to tell you just what I'm doing and why, but I'll leave that for now; this project is an important and exciting step forward for me and I want to talk about it when I'm feeling good. Perhaps tomorrow. For now I've got the last eighteen episodes of Naruto to watch, and an empty tea mug that needs refilling.
About the shirt thing: I may have given some the wrong impression, that I was worried what people would think about me drawing on my clothes. I was only worried what people would think about my apparent lack of concern for good hygeine if I wore the same shirt for four days in a row. But of course I'm going to do it.
Posted by jodi at March 14, 2007 06:00 PM | categories: self-absorbtion
Comments
Rest, as much as possible. I'm keeping your friend in my thoughts.
Posted by: Sandy at March 14, 2007 06:36 PM
Re: email. I'm the same kind of lousy person. It's been really bothering me lately, but I haven't done anything about it.
I hope your friend is okay - good thoughts coming.
Posted by: Cara at March 14, 2007 06:52 PM
I suck at responding to emails and comments too. Sometimes I like to just have the email from someone sitting in my inbox knowing that that person was thinking about me while they wrote it. I like to spend time thinking about them too, so I'll keep it there and I WON'T REPLY. What the eff is that all about. I'm a dope I guess.
Posted by: caro at March 14, 2007 08:07 PM
You responded to my email comment about your birthday and it was lovely. So. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are only human and there is only so much you can bear. I will keep you in my thoughts.
Posted by: Kyla at March 14, 2007 09:24 PM
Dude...you put an extra book in my etsy order because you thought you took too long, and then sent me ANOTHER when you realized one of those wasn't bound. I know that you're living the starving student life right now, and you went out of your way because you felt badly. Don't beat yourself up too much!
Instead, go here and soak up some inspiration from two artists who have integrated their art right into their living spaces: http://desiretoinspire.blogspot.com/2007/03/home-as-art.html
Posted by: Dani B at March 15, 2007 01:48 PM
Let not your heart be troubled; we all know you're awesome.
Posted by: NWJR at March 15, 2007 02:49 PM
D'ya think all that tea has something to do with the migraines, ms.tisane? You're going to have tea flowin' through your veins!
I know what you mean about emails. I use one addy most and the rest kind of dangle in the wind.
I have a teetering tower of un-erased emails there too...looks like the spring cleaning bug has bit you!
Posted by: Mary at March 21, 2007 07:05 PM